Do you remember your childhood when your parents were your biggest role models? Your Dad maybe was like Superman, caring about the family, taking all those complicated decisions, while your Mom was Wonderwoman, that eased all your pain and sorrows. If you had a good childhood, you didn´t have a doubt in your parents, no matter which decision they took, you somehow knew that it was always right for you.
As you grow older, this picture probably started to change. You developed your own opinion on things that not always agreed with your parents. Also you made own experiences and learned to understand that daily business isn´t that easy for Mom and Dad as well as it seemed sometime earlier. The image of the superheroes cracked and evolutionally it´s a normal, good and necessary thing. It means that children start to build an own character, are able to take own choices – no matter if they´re wrong or right.
By that time a lot of us start to find new role models and idols. It maybe is the older brother / sister or even a celebrity. Either way it´s someone who is strong and going his or her own way in our eyes. The funny thing about it is that we want to be like them as we wanted to be like our parents in our childhood. Remember all those “family” games you played with your friends, where you were the Mom or Dad. I guess nearly every one of us did. Later you preferred more to be like your older sibling or the already mentioned star. You maybe dreamed about being gifted with a singing or acting talent, being successful and independent or just about having a driving license and to be allowed to come and go whenever you want.
As we reach the adulthood ourselves a lot of people mostly loose those thoughts about idols and role models, because we somehow made it to go our own way but subconsciously there´s still someone like that for sure. Maybe it´s your parents again that still live in a happy marriage or have a save retirement after long years of work. Maybe it´s your Mom that raised you well all alone. Maybe it´s a friend that got up onto her feet again after a bad divorce or a neighbour that found a good job after years of searching. Maybe it´s also a celeb again that won the battle against a disease you also are / were affected with and encourages people not to give up now. Whoever it is, I think it´s important to have those role models and idols at any point of your life. They can encourage us to get to new levels where the road all alone would be a hard one. They can motivate us to try something new and experience things we wouldn´t dare without a little push. Maybe they can also give us the strength to take action when it´s necessary.
So, no matter how old you are or who your idol is, be thankful for them because they can give you the strength to go on in difficult situations and develop yourself where you might thought that you´re stuck at a certain point.
When love picked you up, carried you through the storm
It´s in that very moment when a hero is born
Posted in Anthropology, Life, philosophy | Tagged celebs, Dad, friends, idol, life, live, Mom, role model, strength, strong | 1 Comment »
Yes, I´m I turned 30 yesterday and speak it out loud! I´m not turning 29 for a second or a third time, even if I liked that number. Anyway, I´m an honest person, so let me share my point of view with all the positive and negative aspects with you.
But what is the positive site about reaching this new decade, which will bring the first wrinkles and greys? The simple answer to this is: Reaching it! I remember back in my childhood when every birthday was exciting to grow a year older and so it was for my friends. We asked each other when our birthday was and were proud when one of us were the older one. Nowadays it would be pretty crazy to think like that but when did it change? For some people it´s the magic 18 (where you officially reach the status of an adult in Germany). For some it´s even earlier, like with 16, for some later, like with 20. Beyond that age you hardly find someone that want to grow older. In this world that tells us that only youth and beauty is perfection it can be hard to see the other site, that every year is a gift and a personal development.
For some people it would be the only wish to grow older but they don´t have the chance.
If I start to feel split about my fading youth, I remember myself to all those that would love to have that kind of “problem”. The ones that struggle to hopefully have another birthday. Maybe it is a bit easier for me to remind myself due to own bad health issues some years ago. It was a the time when I started to perceive the thought about it like that, so becoming 30 is definitely is a huge gift to me, that I´m very thankful for.
We often take gifts in life for granted until they´re gone.
But there are also other positive aspects about it. Let me name just a few:
I don´t feel the pressure to look perfect all the time anymore, like I did with 16. I don´t care no more if I´m rated by people or what they may think about me if I´m not fully styled in a tram or somewhere else, what it´s, to keep it honest, mostly all about as a Teenager.
I kind of found myself and know better what I want, in the job world for example. I know where I want to go and what I´m worth. I did my orientation and decisions, which is also often kinda pressuring for young people.
I´m not that suggestible by others no more and learned to listen to my own inner voice. Also I figured out that I´m no less worth by being single, which is also a big topic while Teenager years.
So yes, I´m turned 30 and I´m fine with it – along with all pro´s and contra´s! For me it´s all about being grateful for what you have and I´m grateful to reach this new decade and so I´m excited what it might bring. Also actor Jesse Spencer once gave a statement about it that the 30´s are his best decade so far. So let´s hope that it will be the same for me and all of you going into this direction.
Posted in Life | Tagged 30, birthday, decade, grateful, life, live | Leave a Comment »
„Help me“ – Two simple words that are able to give us a lot of different emotions at a time.
–Help me- because I´m scared
–Help me- because a situation is so tough that I can´t face it alone
–Help me- because I trust you enough to let you into my world and share my weakness you
–Help me- because I´m strong enough to tell that I´m afraid and I can´t make it alone
This is at least the list of feelings I got when I read these two words yesterday night. To be honest, there was a third word –laugh-, -help me laugh- but in the end it came all down to these two words.
Those words were written by a woman that got diagnosed breast cancer for a second time and more intense this way around. A woman that I only know as strong and a fighter by nature. To hear these words of such a person is touching and scaring at the same time.
Humans seem to be generated to ask the less for help than any possible. Normally we don´t want to bother anyone with our problems or we´re afraid that they think we´re weak or aren´t able to manage things that others do on their own. Sometimes we´re even ashamed to ask for help. Honestly I´m the kind of person that even feels bad to ask my neighbor to get me some items at the grocery store when I caught the flu.
So what kind of feelings do persons need to have if they swallow all their pride (or does it even disappear in these extreme situations?) to ask for help in much more ways than this little sentence tells at the first look. Is it the list I mentioned above? Or a part of it? Honestly I don´t know. I can only guess but what I can say for sure is that there is a lot of strength to ask for help, no matter in which situation you are. Also I know that the ones that hear those words can be honored to have the deep trust of someone else, to be part of their world, not only at times of sunshine.
I instantly hope with all my heart that this strength will guide this special person another time to the road of recovery and health. If one thing is for sure, it´s that no matter what, she won´t face it alone!
Posted in Life | Tagged family, fear, fight, forever strong together, friends, help, help me, life, love, strength, survive | Leave a Comment »
it´s time for another blog again and I think the introductory sentence already explains it all. It´s a thing I often think about lately and in general. I mean, don´t we all know the situation that a thing is really important to us for a very own reason but we just earn a strange glance or even a derogative comment about it? I think some of you will agree when I say that it can hurt really badly.
If you read my former blogs you may already know that I like to work examples. So let´s start with a thing that often already teenagers / young adults are affected with and that can definitely lead their life into a direction they may not want to go, if they´re not strong enough to persist on their own individuality.
Do you remember the moment you told your parents what job or study you have decided for? And do you remember their reaction? Were they happy for you and supported your plans? If yes, you´re a lucky one, because – even if it should be like that – it´s still not average. It´s scaring how often I still hear and heard about reactions like “why do want to do this?”, “this is not a good job, think about the work times/money” and all that stuff. I guess if someone is really interested in this job/study, then he/she knows about the circumstances. If they still love the idea with all the consequences, it should be taken serious. I mean, what should be more important? Being happy with what you do each day or being unhappy because you just chose a thing to please someone else? Please let me encourage you to go your own way, because it´s all about your life! If others won´t understand, it´s their bad, not yours!
Your passion – your life – your decision!
But it´s not just about jobs, this introductory sentence is meant in general. Whatever you feel passionate about and whatever means the world to you, no matter how stupid it may sound for outstanding people, is what you should go for. If you dream about a year anywhere out there in the world as a backpacker or whatever, some people will for sure tell you that it wouldn´t be a good idea. “It´s dangerous, hard, the foreign language, etc.”, but in the end it just matters that it´s your dream and your decision to do! If you want to start an uncommon hobby, there maybe also will be questions like “why?” A nice answer to that btw is “why not?!” If you can´t excite them, confuse them, it´s fun!
I don´t say that it´s an easy road to go to live your dreams. You will have to argue about the ignorance of people, you will have to struggle with those who want –in their opinion– the best for you. Maybe you will sometimes doubt in your plans yourself but I honestly think that it´s all worth it. It´s impossible to fight what your heart desires. Personally I look at all the struggles as a test. If you´ll pass it against all odds, the feeling in the end will be even better!
I want you to know that you always have a choice! It´s up to you to go your own way; be proud of yourself and happy with your life that can only felt by you or if you can imagine a life that´s not really yours just to please others. And never forget, beside all those negative people, there are also the ones that will support you for sure, treasure them!
You always have a choice!
Let´s end this little blog with an old saying: “There´s no better feeling in the world than showing people what you can do when they say you can´t”. Pretty true I think!
Posted in decisions, Life, philosophy | Tagged chances, choices, decisions, happiness, life | 2 Comments »
I currently read a book I got as a christmas gift of a dear friend what was so inspiring, because the topic is about a thing I often think about! There´s not an english version yet, but it would be translated like “The man that wanted to be happy” by Laurent Gounelle. This man is looking for obviously happiness; I think it´s a thing a lot of us do. He´s going to a wise man during his vacation at Bali and experiences because of him an all new way to see himself, life in general, the decisions he did and why he IS the person he is.
Let me tell you that I –and some others of you for sure – can really relate to a lot of stuff there. Have you maybe ever been in the situation you had to speak in front of a crowd and messed it up? Maybe at school or at work?! It´s not a nice feeling, huh? Or do you know the situation to not go up to a boy / girl and try to get into a conversation with them, because you think that you would not have a chance anyway? What about the thought that you´re not one of the happy fools in live that have a lot of luck? I guess nearly everyone knows this or similar situations.
Let me give you another scenario that you get the point what I want to say:
Imagine: You walk along a street with nice restaurants. People are sitting outside and keep staring at you, because you wear clothes of a beggar. How do you feel? And how do you walk? I bet not high headed. I think everyone of us would walk fast with down shoulders, wishing to be invisible.
Now imagine the opposite: Let´s say people recognize you on the street because you´re famous and want to get in touch with you? How do you feel and how do you walk? Probably honored? With a smile on your face because people like you? Standing tall beside them for a photo maybe?
The third part about it is: How you act yourself, also affect on others. How do people react if you stand shy in a corner, not really dare to look at them? They maybe think you´re strange and presumably won´t come up to you. And what do you think as a consequence? –They don´t even like me before they come up to talk to me.
However, how would people react in the opposite if you go to them with a smile, saying an open hello? They would probably smile back and return the same way – which means in consequence for you: People are open and nice, which gives you a good feeling.
So what´s the sense of all this philosophic / psychologic stuff I write here? Let´s keep this end short:
The message of this book is “You are what you think” and I think it´s pretty true. If you tell yourself that you are interesting for a boy / girl and go up to him/her like that, you will be for sure more interesting as if you think “I´m never having a chance anyway!” Same with speaking in front of a crowd. Even if you messed up once, it doesn´t mean it will be every time like that! If you imagine people are interested in what you way (maybe you can imagine you´re a moderator or something), you will speak a lot more open and fluently, what people will rate positive for sure.
It´s all about the way we look at things – beginning with ourselves, because being happy is a decision and you ARE what you think!
Posted in Life, philosophy, Psychology | Tagged affect, decision, happy, life, live, negative, positive, thought | Leave a Comment »
no matter if you already in the new year or still in the old one like me, I´m sure you also heard the question “What´s your new year´s resolution”, right? For me this is pretty tough to answer, because all this hopes and worries to a day the calendar tells is weird to me. I know that a lot people wish to start over new (so also do I with some parts of my life) and what date could be better than new years eve for that? But let´s stay honest; every year will bring us bad and good times – no matter what we hope for. The only thing we can change about it is our ability to accept and grow with them.
Let me give you a little rearview of my year, something I normally don´t do that often, so feel honored. ;) This year was so such an up and down for me. Right at the beginning I lost my beloved cat in a really horrible way I sometimes still have nightmares about. She died with pain in a pet hospital. The docs did everything possible but after some days it got even worse and so I decided no more pain for her! It was the only right decision I know in my heart but also the most painful I´ve ever needed to do. For some of you a cat is maybe just a pet, but I really had a special connection to her. She was at my site when I had bad trouble with my health some years ago and she was one of the reasons I didn´t give up fighting. Then she carried me through the hard time my father struggled with cancer awfully and lost in the end. (That about that EVERY year brings you good and bad stuff, it won´t change in ANY new year)! She consoled me after his death and made me go on by getting me her attention and somehow got back on track and to daily business again. Well, what I want to say is, losing her literally broke me. I just sat down, stared at the wall or cried and asked myself why life can be so cruel.
On the other hand I experienced the most awesome day in a long time also this year! When I was so broke it was even hard for me to speak to my friends about how I felt but then there came some band (as weird as it sounds), which music was like a therapy to me! EACH song of them had a message I could relate to. To some songs I started crying in the beginning a lot again but it helped to break free of the rigidity I felt. It was like there´s someone that experienced the same feelings I had for whatever reason and damn, if they were able to get out of that, live life and have fun again, why not me? Also I didn´t want my beloved persons in heaven to worry about me, so I started to get my butt back of the floor with some help of my close friends and this music and fought on. In July – after my first holiday in a lot of years away from Germany (for severalreason) – what was also a highlight to me (good times calling ) the impossible happened and I had the chance to see this band live after only 4 month I knew their music. It was awesome and I literally rocked it all away with some girls I got to know there. Well, the REAL highlight was when we met them after the show. Don´t ask me what happened to me, but I went straight up to the front singer, the one who writes the lyrics (even if I´m normally shy by meeting someone for the first time), gave him something I created with some lines on the backside, just mentioning that their songs are very special and each one has a true meaning to me. I couldn´t believe when he started reading right in front of me and I was like “you don´t need to read that now” two times but he went on and I got such a cute reply I´ve never expected! They all were so nice, caring, funny and literally gave me something to believe in (a line of one of their songs) again. I had fun, felt happy and like -myself- again for the first time of the year which also gave me a lot of power to get all back on track step by step! I´m so thankful I´ve met them and hope to see them next year again soon + get to know the other fan Ladies a bit more. When I´m having a bad day right now, I just look at some special picture(s) and have to smile immediatly!
There were of course more ups and downs, like losing my job due to a limited contract, I really loved. I found a new one with an unlimited contract in between, what I wished for so long but I also miss all my former co-workers (really everyone of them) a lot! They all got special to me without even knowing it, even if it might sound crazy now, but they helped me through all these hard times of the last two years without even knowing it, just by daily business and/or random talks, goofing around.
You see, everything has two sites, dark and light, fire and water, moon and sun. There´s just not one site without the other. A lot of people wish for a “better” upcoming year but it´s just about what YOU make out of it. I´ve learned from the bad experiences and treasure the good ones. I´ve learned to cherish good memories even more. Sure I´m still sad that I lost my Dad and my cat way too early in this cruel way but I´m also thankful for all the good times we had together! So let´s wait what 2013 will bring on. I´m sure there are some ups and downs again and also some decisions I have to and want to take. Let´s just make the best of it, enjoy the good ones and learn from the rest, because to say it with a metaphor again, without rain, there´s not rainbow and no sun at the end of the day!
All the best for 2013 to all of you!
Posted in Life | Tagged bad times, band, cherish, cruel, experience, fight on, good times, happy, learn, life, live, moment, music, sad, thankful, treasure | Leave a Comment »
let´s start this blog with some facts – not to bore you, but you will get the sense of it by reading more. Did you know that if you want to travel to the other side of the world it takes 24 hours by plane? That´s about 15.000 km (9320 miles). That´s approximately the distance from Germany to Australia or New Zealand! Insane far away, don´t you think? Also even the USA is 6-9 hours away by plane, Brazil 17 hours or even Finland with “just” 3 hours, not mentioning the time zones that can be (nearly) the opposite of yours! You might ask now why I´m telling you facts you may already know on your own. Well, let´s blame it on the Internet.
I have to confess that I´m a regular user of Facebook and Twitter– to communicate with my friends from all over the world. And that´s the point. A lot of people (mostly older ones in this case) say that the younger ones doesn´t have friends in their daily life anymore, just sitting in front of the Computer instead. Well, I think there are not right 100 %, but in a certain degree they´re not wrong at all. Well, that just beside… It´s true that younger ones use the computer more often nowadays but not only to play games like WOW (world of warcraft). They also use it to communicate a lot with their friends they got to know through the web. Maybe in the beginning they just went to some chat room because of boredom or visited a site of a singer / actor they like. It´s crazy how fast you can make contact with persons that share the same interests in the online world, ´cause there´s a topic for everything. I know the process myself. Without Internet I would have never get to know people that I call my friends now – and that not only virtual no more! (That to be said!) It´s often not that easy to find people in your town with same interests. I mean, no one of us walks straight up to a stranger asking “Hey, I like xxx, what about you?” So it´s a lot easier to find like-minded online and sometimes friendships really develop out of this. The disadvantage of it is the often present distance.
But it´s not only friends that may live that far away. I remember that time before I had regular Internet (yes, I´m old enough to have lived without that :p) and was reliant to magazine articles for news about my fav actress from New Zealand. Gosh, I nearly went crazy, ´cause I wanted news faster! I was lurking for every new appearing magazine, every tiny article, whatever. That was back in the 90´s – so what do you do nowadays? You just check out their website with mostly regular updates or even better, if they have a twitter or Facebook account you read their posts often in the same minute they´re writing them AND get answered questions by themselves! They´re not out of touch anymore (if they care about their fans ). I remember two chats. I shot a question not long ago to that New Zealand actress I was a huge Fan about back in the 90´s and still like her (hello to Lucy Lawless in this case, even if you´ll never read this ) and a question to a band member of my fav band, living in Australia (hello to – you know who you are, even if you will never read this either ) and felt like having a mini heart attack when the answer came right away in the same minute! I mean, isn´t it kinda crazy? Those people are sitting on the other site of the world, so many hours away from me – in a completely different time zone and there can be contact within a minute!
The same it is possible with my friends from Finland, Netherlands, Belgium, the USA or wherever they live. The world is still a huge place but it became a lot smaller through the Internet and so it´s not only that bad how a lot of the older Generation thinks. I don´t blame them, not at all. Of course they have a different opinion because they were raised under completely other circumstances but personally I like that the world became a bit smaller and people are not that out of touch because of distances anymore.
What do you think? Would love to hear your opinion on that!
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged distance, friends, huge, interests, internet, missing, new friends, timezones, village, world | Leave a Comment »